Question with Boldness, Hold to The Truth, Speak without Fear

blog project - hopefully up tomorrow. :)

2009-11-10T06:09:57Z

Ok... so I've got an idea for a little project to do here in/with my blog.

See, I've been thinking - a persons core, generally speaking (and in my humble opinion) at least, is/are their beliefs... and/or their morals and ethics, more specifically. I think I've come to believe that the core of a person is what they believe... Because, it seems to me that a persons morals and ethics, and what a person believes - what they believe as far as right and wrong, and other such things - can really shape their life (and, by extention, the lives of others as well). Or, at least, I think I believe that that's the way it should be - people should have a grasp on, at least, their own personal sense of right and wrong, and they should try to live up to it (ie - don't do something that you believe is wrong... Duh :p lol). Pretty simple concept, right?

Well, apparently, it's not quite so easy for me. lol :P . . . In a ton of ways I really kinda feel like I still don't know myself. And knowing what things I believe and do not believe in is, of course, a rather big part of that, I think. So I've been thinking, trying to figure some things out, and I think what I'm gunna do - and this is where the "project" I mentioned comes in - what I'm gunna do is kind of just make a list of things that I believe, because I think it will be good for me to sort of just get it out there, ya know - make it real by writing it down and sort of making it all tangible in a way.

I had intended to have this little project ready and posted this evening, but Life - as usual - didn't exactly cooperate with me :P   So, I'm gunna do some more thinking tonight, and tomorrow, and then try to have a list/project ready tomorrow evening. We'll see what happens, I guess. lol


"See" ya then! :)

results of a hard days work... well, kinda :P lol

2009-10-06T03:00:24Z

The paintings I did/finished today :) . . . .

Well, actually, this one I did probably a couple weeks ago, or so

This one was started a while back (a few weeks ago, I think), but I added the final element and finished it today :)

Another shot of this one...

Now a few shots of another one from a couple weeks ago...

A close-up...

Now, one that I did today - I'm not sure how much I like it....

Screw the world...

2009-10-05T17:03:56Z

. . . I think I'm gunna smoke a cigarette real quick, run a couple of errands, and then spend the rest of the day painting! :D

Devotion to Woden

2009-10-01T15:43:27Z

I found this on a website just a little while ago :) . . . .

To Woden

All who wander without direction:
to these, Woden, be a guide.
All who puzzle without solution:
to these, Woden, be a guide.
All who search without finding:
to these, Woden, be a guide.
All who inquire without answer:
to these, Woden, be a guide.
All who seek without out obtaining:
to these, Woden, be a guide.
God who understands:
to those to whom the journey is worth the cost,
even not arriving,
to these, Woden, be a guide.

meh...

2009-09-30T22:16:10Z

Well, bleh....

I guess I'm working again... the bullshi... I mean temp agency just called - apparently they had an opening. Same place where my moms now working, same place where my sis works, and the exact same shift as mom. So we won't have to juggle the vehicles at all. 5am - 6pm, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. And I guess I start this coming Friday.

Yee-fucking-Haw. :-/

I know I should be thankful, and I certainly shouldn't bitch, really... And I guess I am thankful. I mean, it's money and obviously need money - otherwise, I'll just run through my savings. I shouldn't be so... irritated about this, and I shouldn't bitch about having a job when so many people are out of work and having so much trouble finding work. This is NOT the economy to be bitching about your job in.....

But, evidently, I can't help myself... I think this kinda sucks. This job is - most likely, if not definitely - just going to be the same shit in a different warehouse. It certainly doesn't make me feel any less stuck. I'll have to stay at this job for 30 days, with no absences or tardies (why, hello again, High School :P), in order to get a raise that would put me a little above $9 an hour. My little sister is making somewhere around $11 an hour - but she's been there for... oh, a year and a half, I think.

I am just beyond sick of cellphones.

I need the money... And it could be fairly decent money - IF I stay there for a long time... It's a job in an economy where tons of people are either seriously under-employed or out of work all together...

So why the hell do I feel a little sick to my stomach... and a little bit like crying. :(

well, crap :-/

2009-09-29T14:14:00Z

.... 9am ...once again, no sleep last night.

What the hell????

Ya know... one of these days - just one day - I'd really like to be able to wake up from a good nights rest, and actually be excited by the prospect of a new day just starting. :-(

. . . . so much I wanna do... so much I kinda need to do...

And, for the moment at least, I say *bleh* to it all :P

just some silliness

2009-09-26T01:53:19Z

... had a decent day and it was a beautiful day, weather wise, but now I'm feeling completely... well, bored, and uninspired. And feeling bored and uninspired is rather frustrating to me.

And, evidently, boredom, frustration and feeling uninspired leads me to sitting on my ass, blogging, watching wrestling in a rather half-assed manner, and pigging out on pork rinds. :P lol (yeah... The Undertaker is about to take on some little Straight Edge punk called - oddly enough - CM Punk. lmao! I'm a loser, but there's some nostalgia involved here - I totally dug wrestling when I was a kid :P)

I dunno... I just feel like such a bum right now lol :P

Interesting Conundrum

2009-09-24T05:22:04Z

First off, I wanna say that this might sound - at least a little bit - like whining on my part. But it's not my intention, with this post, to wallow in my own self-pity. The "whining" part is just me trying to give a little back-story. :)

So here's the deal (before I ask a question)...

I've looked into (not always very deeply, I'll admit) quite a few different religions... The latest has been Hinduism. I was basically raised a Protestant Christian (my mom wasn't real strict about it, even though she's a believer - she feels like religion was shoved down her throat by her own mother, so she didn't want to do that with her own kids.) I wasn't very old when I pretty mush dismissed and rejected Christianity - I think this might've happen when I was in my early teens. After I rejected Christianity, Wicca seemed promising. So I looked into that... and eventually rejected it because it just didn't fit with me, and I wasn't whiling to change any part of myself so that I fit with it. For a while I thought, ignorantly, that - basically - my only choices where Christianity and Wicca.... I didn't know about the other different traditions that fit underneathe the "Pagan" umberella, and didn't pay much attention to Eastern traditions. So, I learned that, finally... And then I found Heathenry, and it seemed like it might work for me (and like I could work with it). Eventually, even though I still agree with many of the ethics espoused by many, if not all, forms of Heathenry, I fell away from Heathenry as well. After that - for a short while - it was Satanism.... which, I found, I simply can't get with, one hundred percent. So... Now Hinduism is what has kind of captured my interest. But I really don't think that my heart is totally in this, either - already.

I'm sure why, but I guess I kind of like the idea of being part of a religion... of having a "spiritual home". Also, I think I've come to believe in at least the possibility there IS one, definitive Truth out there, somewhere... But I also don't believe that one particular is "big" enough to hold the entire, pure, Truth... know what I mean? There is no one particular religion that holds the whole, pure, Truth about The Divine. However, I think I also believe that... well, pretty much EVERY religion out there probably holds at least part of The Truth - there's at least part of The Truth in each religion.

So, no religion holds the entire, pure, Truth... But each religion probably holds a small part of The Truth. I think I truly, and honestly - in my gut, and in my heart-of-hearts, believe that. And it makes a certain sense to me that there might be only one Truth out there (that there might be one religion that's "right" about The Truth). But at the same time, I think I'd also like to have a "spiritual home", for lack of any better phrase.

Now, questions....

Is it even possible for a person to find a "spiritual home", when - just based on what they know - they don't really believe that any one of the available "homes" is any better than all the others?

Am I maybe just not investing enough time, or energy in my "search" (in all honesty, I think this could be part of my problem)?

Am I missing something? (I can actually think of a thing or two that might be helpful to me in my search)

Is there part of this "problem" that I'm not seeing?
'
Is this just a case of a person being, as the saying goes, "so open minded that their brains fall out"?

I mean... I'm right back to feeling completely lost, really. I'm starting to think it just doesn't matter, in a way... starting to think that being at some Christian Sunday service might, possibly, make me feel as close to The Divine as a Heathen blot would, or a Hindu chant would, or Buddist meditation would, or even a simple camping trip would - it really doesn't matter, as far as that goes. If that makes sense.

It's all still very confusing to me...

damn it

2009-09-22T13:51:23Z

It's going on 9am, and I've been awake all night. I just could NOT sleep. What the hell???

Ugh... I'm STILL not really tired, but I can already hear my mom pissing and moaning when she finds out. Plus, my head is still realing over some drama over at a forum that I've frequented for three years. (the forum drama is not what kept me awake, but it's not helping either :p lol)

I shouldn't, but I'm seriously considering McDonalds for breakfast. . . . Yeah, mah tummy is wide awake too. :P

ETA: splurged on an Egg McMuffin... now mah tummy haz a Happy! :-)

mom did NOT throw a fit about my lack of sleep... and now I'm listening to Glenn Beck on the radio... overcast weather - Not a bad start to the day. :)

Unfortunately, NOW I'm starting to wind down and get tired. :P LOL

Ganesha

2009-09-16T01:14:35Z

... 'probably gunna do some reading up on the Hindu god, Ganesha, I think.

He, as most people probably know, is the Remover Of Obstacles

But, and this is most likely is one of those *DUH* kinda things, he also places obstacles in the way of those who are immoral, don't worship properly, or are generally impious.... Makes perfect sense, right? Well, I didn't realize that. I always thought "Remover of Obstacles"... but then, I was reading a book on Hinduism recently that talked, at one point, about Him also placing or creating obstacles. Couldn't believe I'd missed it - again, a *Duh* kinda thing. lol :P Makes perfect sense, tho, doesn't it?

A while back (a few weeks, or so, I think it was...) I actually went to a local World Market store... and I had been looking, initially, for a small statue of a Nataraja ( www.lotussculpture.com/nataraja1.htm ) - the store usually carried small brass statues of Nataraja, but they had been out of stock for a while. So, one day, I check the stores website - it says they should have the statues in stock. I went and found both a Nataraja statue, AND small statues of Ganesha. I got one of each. But I haven't set them up anywhere. I've got no alter space, really... plus I really don't want to anwser any silly questions from anyone else in the house. :-/

. . . seriously considering maybe putting it (my Ganesha statue) up somewhere, though... Maybe my window. Not sure.

Anyhooo... Here's a nice picture of Ganesha, and then some links. :)

www.lotussculpture.com/ganesh1.htm

www.sanatansociety.org/hindu_gods_and_goddesses/ganesha.htm

www.crystalinks.com/ganesh.html

hinduism.about.com/od/lordganesha/a/ganesha.htm

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ganesha

www.kamalkapoor.com/ganesha/Default.asp

damn...

2009-09-12T17:12:37Z

... gotta work this afternoon/evening (3pm-11:30) . . . . which means that Mom and I won't be able to attend the local 9/12 march/rally

*sadness* :(

Judge Andrew Nepalitano is the keynote speaker at our local rally, after the march itself. The Judge rocks.

I'm so irritated - the fact that we'd have to work this weekend (Saturday and Sunday, and then on into next week) was dropped on us just yesterday, but we've known about this 9/12 rally for weeks.

So, see, stuff like this is why I'm hesitant to even bother with making plans - EVER... it just seems like something always happens to fuck it up. It happens almost every damn time. :-/

This evening...

2009-09-10T02:12:12Z

. . . I'm feeling fat and content. lol

No less impressed with the man who's supposed to be my president. Yeah - I watched Obama's speech tonight - nothing big.  Really nothing more than his usual bloviating.... And, would you look at that: He's STILL blaming former prez Bush (albiet somewhat subtly).

  Teh Shayder is highly unimpressed.

I swear to god, if I hear one person call another a "nazi", or "racist", or a "right wing extremist" simply because that other person disagrees with Obama... I'm going to snap. I - SERIOUSLY - am going to fucking s-n-a-p, SNAP.

Before the speech, tho, I worked on a painting and had two cheeseburgers and tater tots for supper. Not at the same time, tho - I painted and then washed my hands, and THEN had supper.

I definitely washed my hands after painting. Trust me, with the way my brain has been running, the very last thing I need is two cheeseburgers with a side of tator tots and paint chips.

I have no idea why I shared this... just trying to be silly, I guess :P lol

Some cool links I just thought I share :)

2009-09-09T16:41:12Z

Hey peoples! Here's the deal - I have a LOT of websites bookmarked. And I think some of them are pretty cool, and could be rather useful for folks. So I just thought I'd share a few of them. :)

1) www.gasbuddy.com/Trip_Calculator.aspx

This one (above) I like, and I think it could come in really handy. You just put in address of where you are, and the address of the place you're going. Then give them the year, make and model of your vehicle (there's an option where you put in more details), and they calculate about how much money you'll spend on gas for the trip. And they also give you a choice - you figure the amount of gas you'll need to buy just for the whole trip (the drive to AND from), or just one way. Kinda nifty, huh? :)

(oh! And you wanna dig around on this site a bit - on the main page, I believe, there's a place where you put in your zip code or address, and then it gives you a list of the price of gas at local gas stations that are your area - so you can essentially "shop" around for the best price on gas)

2) www.wopular.com/home/full_news_rack

News headlines from TONS of different papers, news agencies, etc - all gathered right there on one convenient site! How cool is that? :D

3) www.free-ed.net/free-ed/FreeEdMain01.asp

This is a cool site - basically it provides free online courses in lots of different subjects. Definitely worth digging around and checking it out.

4) www.chesskids.com/ckbook/firstgames.htm

Nifty site with "lessons" on how to play chess, and also has area's where you can "play against the computer". Geared towards kids, so it keeps things pretty simple and easy to understand. :)

5) www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/

Pretty cool site that sorts out junk from fact when it come to political gossip, basically - No overbearing right-wing bias, no rediculous left-wing bias, just the truth.

6) www.worldatlas.com/aatlas/world.htm

Online world atlas. :)

7) phrontistery.info/index.html

Fun site on rarely used, or even forgotten words.

8) tech.msn.com/products/articlepcw.aspx

Cool article from MSN with - as the title says - "100 Incredibly Useful and Interesting Website". Pretty nifty. :)

That's it for now... Have fun digging around these sites - I know I did. :)

trying to sell some art! :D

2009-09-08T05:36:55Z

Ok, something kinda cool happened the other day.... My mom took my little sister to check out an appartment complex (sis is wanting to move out of the place she's in now). While they were there, talking with the folks who run things, somehow art came up. And Sis mentioned that I'm an artist, and pointed out the two tattoos she has that started out as original designs by me. They (mom and sis) told the gal about my "floating trees" paintings, and the gal said that she thought that sounded really interesting - like something that, perhaps, they might want to hang up in an office or common area at the apartment complex! I guess she told mom that she actually buys quite a bit of art of eBay, and that I coud get ahold of her - gave mom a card with her work number, and e-mail.

So, there's at least a small possibility that I could soon make my very first sale - I could soon sell my first painting! How cool!!! :D

I think I'll e-mail her tomorrow. In the meantime, since I already had an account with eBay, I went ahead and put one of my paintings up for sell (did the auction thing). What I think I might do, is e-mail the gal from the apartment complex (megan is her name, I think) - send with the e-mail some photos that I have of a few of my paintings. If she's definitely interested in buying, I think I'll skip eBay for that, and see if she wants to just do a direct sale. This apartment complex is, like.. RIGHT next door to the Walmart that I worked at for two years - getting a painting to her will be no problem whatsoever. It'd probably be cheaper, in fact, to drive it out there to her than trying to find a box and sending it to her :P lol

Anyhow... it's kind of excitind for me. I think it'd be awsome to make a sale - even if the painting just ends up in the lobby at the info office of an appartment complex. So, we'll see what happens. :)

In the meantime, I just wanted to share the link to where you can see the painting that I put up for sale. I may edit some of the info - ya know, write a better discription, maybe. And I'm also going to add more paintings, I think. So check back sometime, if you think about it. :)

Here's the painting and it's info and stuff :P

cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll

Krishna

2009-09-06T03:56:29Z

I have no idea why, exactly - there was really no specific reason - but I felt like looking up pictures of Lord Krishna... I've done that before and I love most of the artwork associated with the Hindu gods and goddeses - it's so beautiful... so intricate, so colorful. It just completely draws me in, and it's hard for me to pull myself away. LOL

Anyway... I was thinking of doing a sketch of Lord Krshna, and I still will, and I'll share it here... But in the meantime, I just couldn't help myself - I wanted to share some of the artwork that others have done depicting Krishna... These are some of my personal favorites. :)

Isn't he beautiful? :)

My own artwork won't nearly as good as these, but I guess - as the saying goes: It's the thought that counts. :P

Well, bleh...

2009-09-05T23:05:21Z

... I think I feel like painting or drawing something, but - all in all - I'm really not feeling very creative.

Shoot. :P

a quote

2009-09-04T21:19:00Z

"Liberty cannot be preserved without a general knowledge among the people, who have a right, from the frame of their nature, to knowledge, as their great Creator, who does nothing in vain, has given them understandings, and a desire to know; but besides this, they have a right, an indisputable, unalienable, indefeasible, divine right to that most dreaded and envied kind of knowledge; I mean, of the characters and conduct of their rulers."

-John Adams, Dissertation on the Canon and Feudal Law, 1756

I just found something...

2009-09-03T20:35:17Z

... a page of notes that I took on an old story idea that I had, but got stuck on.

I is happy. :)

...gunna look over the notes and see if I can revive the story - I'll share the story here if and when it get's done. :)

The Beatles are AWSOME...

2009-09-03T19:53:06Z

. . . just thought I'd throw that out there. :)

http://www.beatlesradio.com/

Holy Active Bat-links, Batman! :D lol

2009-09-01T18:36:20Z

Ladies and Gentlemen - The Bat-Blog! XD lol (I stumbled across it a few days ago... couldn't resist sharing)

tomztoyz.blogspot.com/

This Bat-blog entery, in particular, is a pretty good one, I think :D lol

tomztoyz.blogspot.com/2009/08/batman-dark-knight-on-tvs-law-and-order.html#links

Quotes IV

2009-08-30T18:26:45Z

Yup - it's that time again :)

"No one can hurt you without your consent."

- Eleanor Roosevelt

"Actions are the louder expression of thought. The quality of thought is ordered by the nature of our inner belief and faith.”

– Swami Chinmayananda

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

- Howard Thurman

"Deliver me from writers who say the way they live doesn't matter. I'm not sure a bad person can write a good book. If art doesn't make us better, then what on earth is it for?"

- Alice Walker

"Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live."

- Dorothy Thompson

"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it."

- anonymous

Top 5 Things To Put In A Trap If You Want To Catch A Shierami :)

2009-08-30T02:22:43Z

5) lots and LOTS of money

4) Gavin DeGraw

3) Michael C Hall

2) Gerard Butler

1) lots and LOTS of chocolate

For Best Results: obtain one Gerard Butler, replace clothing with chocolate, place in trap, and wait. :)

Just thought I'd throw that out there :P lol

"Reasonable Questions for Unreasonable Times"

2009-08-28T23:55:37Z

From Glenn Beck - some "Reasonable Questions for Unreasonable Times"

http://www.glennbeck.com/content/articles/article/198/29631/

"Question with boldnes even the existence of God; for if there is one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear"

- Thomas Jefferson

just a short blurb :P

2009-08-28T01:57:00Z

I think I've kinda figured something out.... I guess I "knew" it before, it's just that it wasn't up in the front of my mind until recently, ya know?

So, here it is: I'm stuck. In alot of ways, I'm just totally stuck. And I need to more forward.

I know, I know - Duh, right? :P LOL

Well, now that that's out there in the open, tho, there arises another issue for me - I mean, ok, I need to move forward, but what direction should I go in?

There are a LOT of things I could do, a LOT of directions that I could go in... Decisions, decisions, I guess. :-/

I was planning on saying more when I brought this up, but I think I'll expand on this a bit later, in another post. I just felt like getting it out there. :)

I feel like such a nerd...

2009-08-27T16:59:16Z

. . . I'm sitting here on my laptop, with two web browser windows open - in one I'm checking in here at LJ, and in the other I'm chatting on Facebook with my little bro. . . who's in the other room just down the hall. XD LOL

ETA - lol I just thought I'd share that little bit silliness with you all :P